The Eternal Struggle
by Xamem-The Heart of Oblivion
Summary: Alyssa Snape is an outsider, tormented just because she is the sister of Severus. Will she ever find somebody else who cares about her? Rated T just to be safe for the later chapters. Not slash! *No longer updated, just can't delete it.
1. Sorting

**Hola readers! This is my other first fanfic so please be nice. R&R please! Thanks! :) Oh, and I do not own Harry Potter... **

Alyssa sat, staring at the fast moving countryside. She was sitting next to her brother, Severus. They were alone in the very last compartment of the Hogwarts Express. Alyssa was eleven years old, one year under her brother, and was terrified of going to Hogwarts. Although Alyssa was a kind girl, she was shy and rather afraid of people after the beatings she had endured as a child.

Severus had been explaining Hogwarts to her on the trip- the classes, the teachers, now he was telling her about the houses.

"And I hope that you're in Slytherin, because it's the best, and then we can stay together." Alyssa stuck to her brother like glue, because he was the only person who had ever cared about her.

"It looks like we will be stopping soon. You're going to have to follow the other first years, ok? I'll save you at seat at the Slytherin table!" Alyssa nodded, eyes wide with apprehension. She was afraid of a lot of things…afraid that she would be lost, or hurt, or made fun of, and especially of being sorted. She wished Severus could come with her, but he was a second year. All of these thoughts swirled through her head as she followed the other first years off the train and to the boats.

Sailing down the lake now, Alyssa did her best to become invisible. It wasn't that hard- her black hair blended in with the night. As long as she kept her head down, nobody would notice her emerald green eyes or her pale skin. It was a clear night, and as they rounded a corner, all the first years gasped in union, even Alyssa.

"Its beautiful…"

Alyssa heard someone whisper. And the sight was beautiful indeed, majestic Hogwarts castle looming over them, the moon directly overhead. The first years went into the castle and were told to wait in a small room. Some of the first years whispered, but most were like Alyssa, staring at the door and a bit green in the face. The doors opened suddenly, and the first years marched out into the great hall. Alyssa was amazed, it was so fancy and magnificent, so unlike home. She peered around the other students and saw a patched, frayed old hat on a stool.

The Sorting Hat.

A rip appeared at the brim of the hat, but Alyssa was too busy observing the room to pay attention. She gazed at the thousands of floating candles, at the starry, enchanted ceiling. She looked at all four tables, looking for the one she hoped to be sitting at soon, Slytherin. Applause startled her into reality, the hat had stopped singing and the first name was being called.

"Arnook, Baily!" A little girl walked to the front and jammed the hat on her head. About half a minute later, the hat called out "**RAVENCLAW!**" Cheers came from the ravenclaw table as Baily sat down there. Alyssa resumed her search for Severus, she was hoping that he would see her and give her encouragement. She found him just as her name was called.

"Snape, Alyssa!"

Alyssa took a deep breath and walked up to the hat. The last thing she saw before the hat went over her eyes was her brother giving her an encouraging smile. Alyssa wondered what she had to do now. Should she talk to the hat? Her question was answered a moment later by a voice in her head.

_So, Alyssa Snape, it is your turn to be sorted. Lets see here…You have intelligence and wit, some cunning, and an unusual amount of bravery and courage…now where to put you? _

_The hat thinks that I'm brave? He must be joking! _she thought.

_I am _not_joking, miss Alyssa…I have now made my decision! You will be in _**GRYFFINDOR! **The hat shouted out the last word for all to hear. Alyssa thought for sure that her heart skipped a beat. No, this couldn't be happening, it couldn't be, she had to be in Slytherin like Severus, she COULDN'T be in Gryffindor! She slowly lifted the hat off her head. The cheers fell deaf on her ears as she saw the horrified look on her brother's face. Slowly, dreamlike, she walked to the Gryffindor table as "Steveanna, Abby" was called. Alyssa sat next to a girl with red hair who smiled at her. Alyssa just stared until the girl looked away. Suddenly, non-stop chattering reached her ears.

"HOLA! I'm Abby! You're Alyssa right? I like purple giraffes and random cows that say moo!" Abbey poked a startled Alyssa.

"I'm so glad I'm in Gryffindor, if I were in Slytherin I would leave, wouldn't you?"

"N-no, I w-wanted to be in Slytherin…" Alyssa stammered.

Abbey tilted her head."Why?" she asked.

"Well, I don't have many friends and my brother is in Slytherin so…" she trailed off. Abbey bounced a little in her seat. "Well, I'm new here so I don't know anybody! Maybe we should be friends!" Abbey exclaimed, sounding all sorts of excited. Alyssa smiled. It was small, but it was a smile. She wouldn't mind having a friend. All of a sudden, a magnificent feast appeared before them! Chicken, roast beef, pork and lamb chops, sausages, bacon and steak, all kinds of potatoes, chips, peas, carrots, and all sorts of other foods. Alyssa had never seen so much food in her life! She dug into it, and all of her doubts were momentarily washed away.

Some time later, after a dessert as grand as the main meal, a great scraping of chairs filled the hall. Alyssa followed all the other Gryffindors...how she _hated _that word...up the staircases and to the front of a portrait of a fat lady.

"Password?" she asked.

"Sindget," one of the taller boys answered, and the fat lady swung open to admit them. Alyssa had to admit the place looked nice enough, with a fire and comfy chairs. As she settled into bed though, having climbed to the top of a spiral staircase to get here, she thought that she would much rather be with Severus, even if it was in the dungeons.

**Phew! That was long! Please review and I will add more! :) By the way...Abby is based off my best friend, PhoinexofIce!  
**


	2. Fight, fight, fight!

**Hello! Thanks to the two people that reviewed! :) This chapter is shorter than the last one...but I couldn't think of anything to add after...well you will see. :)**

Alyssa sat under a tree with Severus, reading her potions book. It was the Saturday after Alyssa had gotten to Hogwarts, and it had been a terrible week. Something had gone wrong in every class at least once: in transfiguration, she had turned her hair neon pink, in Herbology, she had gotten bitten by some poisonous plant and had to be sent to the hospital wing, she had fallen off her broom trying to fly, and in potions, she had somehow melted her cauldron and was assigned extra homework. Sighing, she flipped the pages of her book, looking for information on a very simple potion that was supposed to cure pimples.

Alyssa scowled, her partner hadn't gotten homework, just her. She was even more annoyed by the fact that a group of four boys where down by the lake and being, well, distracting. Severus didn't seem to like them much either. Alyssa didn't know much about them, just that they were Gryffindor like her, they were second years, and one of them was called James Potter. She knew because Severus liked to rant about them. One boy had shaggy black hair and was messing with a snitch. Alyssa could tell that he thought highly about himself. That one was probably Potter. Another boy had longer yet slightly tidier black hair, he was whispering to the other black-haired boy and pointing at them. The third boy looked pretty shabby. He was reading a book, like her. The fourth boy surprised her the most. He was a head shorter than any of them, looked rather rat-like, and just not the kind of person the other boys would want to hang out with.

"Severus, what are their names?" Alyssa asked pointing at the lake. Severus groaned when she asked that. "That's Potter, Black, Lupin, and Pettigrew."  
"What about their first names?"  
"James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter. Why do you want to know? They only cause trouble. You need to stay away from them."

The boys stood up and headed towards the tree Alyssa and Severus were sitting under. Severus groaned under his breath again. "Go away, Alyssa. I'll handle this." But Alyssa had absolutely no intention of leaving. Instead, she hid behind a bush where she could see and hear everything. The boys approached Severus and he suddenly looked so small next to them. "So, Snivellus, who was that pretty little girl you where sitting with? Surely she isn't your girlfriend?" asked the boy with messy black hair. Potter. The other black haired boy laughed.

"Why would anybody want to hang out with a greasy old git like—"

"LEAVE HIM ALONE!" Everyone spun around to see Alyssa storming out of the bushes. How dare they treat her brother like that, how dare they! "Ah, you must be that girl old Snivellus here was sitting with. What did he do? Threaten you? We can help you stay away from bad company like this. My name is Sirius by the way, what's yours?" the boy who had called Severus a git asked. Alyssa glared daggers at him. "It just so _happens_ that I am his _sister!_" she exclaimed, venom dripping in her voice. "Now if you will excuse me, I'm going to get away from bad company like _you_. Come on Sev, let's go." Alyssa turned; ready to stalk off to the castle when she felt someone grab her arm.

_CRACK!_ "OW! DANG IT!"

Alyssa stared at her fist and at Sirius, now crouched on the ground clutching his face. She couldn't believe it. She hadn't even realized she was going to punch him until she saw her extended arm. "You broke my nose, dang it!" Sirius shouted, running back to the castle with his friends following. Alyssa felt a sick feeling in her stomach. She had never, ever hurt another person in her life. She had never wanted to induce pain like her father had to her. Alyssa ran back to the lake, looking for her friend Abby. She needed to talk to somebody, anybody who might understand. About five minutes later, she found her at the edge of the lake, throwing toasted bagels to the giant squid.

"Hey Abby. Do you have some time?"  
"Of course I do, I'm just feeding Henry!" Alyssa retold the tale of the past few minutes. She took a deep breath after finishing, and the sick feeling eased slightly. "I didn't mean to break his nose or anything, I was just so mad…should I go and apologize?" Abby nodded. "Yeah, and I'll be down here with Henry if you need me!" Alyssa smiled and stood up, ready to find Sirius. He was probably at the hospital wing. About ten minutes later, Alyssa finally managed to find the hospital wing. Sirius was still here, but his friends were gone. Bracing herself, Alyssa sat down next to his cot. "Um…hi, Sirius. Is your nose alright?" Sirius gave a start of surprise, then glared at her suspiciously. "Why are you here? Do you want to take another punch at me? And why did you do that?" Alyssa shook her head. "Of course I don't! I didn't mean to hurt you. But…but you hurt me when you said that about Sev, and I acted out of anger. I'm sorry." Alyssa held her breath, waiting to see if he would accept her apology. Sirius sighed. "Fine. I forgive you. Go away now, ok?" he muttered, turning so his back was to her. Slightly stunned, Alyssa hurried away back to the common room. _What was that about?_ she thought. _Does he just not believe me?_ Finally arriving at the common room, Alyssa stepped inside, only to find Sirius's friends sitting in a corner, muttering to themselves. Probably about getting revenge. Sighing, Alyssa headed upstairs, wondering if she would ever fit in with everyone else.

**Kay, I know that was kinda short...but did you like it? REVIEW! Or I'll sic the giant squid on you! :D**


	3. Swelling Solution

**Hello! This is the longest chapter ever! YAAAY! :D Please R&R! (And I know who you people who read but don't review are!) Thank you and enjoy!**

Alyssa hurried through the corridor, keeping her head down in an effort to ignore the giggles and glares directed at her. The past month had been worse than the first week. Not in classes, she had improved greatly on that first disaster of a week, she had even become the best in potions class. No, the past month had been horrible because of her incident with Sirius Black. Her popularity had reached an all-time low…not that it had been that high to begin with…and a grand total of two people would talk to her in a friendly way, Severus and Abby. Breaking the nose of one of the most popular kids tends to do that to you. Being the sister of one of the least most popular kids doesn't help either. Oddly enough, even though Sirius was the one whom she had hurt, he hadn't teased or mocked her as badly as she thought he would. She figured that inked-up homework, missing potion ingredients, and pranks designed to humiliate her would be the least of her troubles. He never did this to her, which made her wonder if he had something bigger planned. He hadn't even seemed to be acting badly towards her, just a bit distant. She couldn't judge if this was because of what she had done, or if it was just because they didn't really know each other. If he hated her, he was doing a pretty good job of not revealing it. Most kids, on the other hand, openly showed contempt. They tripped her in the halls, called her names, wrote rather nasty things in the bathroom, and made no effort to conceal that they where talking about her.

"Look, there goes the potions freak."

"Be careful, she might break your nose if you get her angry."

"There's that greasy git Snape's sister. Lets push her!"

Those where the kinds of things she heard as she went from class to class. Distracted, she didn't notice another students extended foot. _CRASH!_ With a clatter and some choice swear words, Alyssa fell to the ground, her books and ink flying everywhere. A chorus of laughter rang in her ears as she struggled to sit up, and with a _WHACK_ some other boy had knocked her flat on her face again. With a minute left to get to class, the crowd left, still laughing loudly. "Dang it, now I'm gonna be late." Alyssa muttered to herself. She stayed down, trying to figure out if she was bruised or bleeding. She was going to be late anyways, how would a few extra minutes hurt her? Professor Slughorn usually let her off easy since she was a prize student. Her left cheek felt pretty tender, but it would have to wait, she needed to get her stuff and get to class before a teacher found her.

She started by grabbing up the books closest to her. Counting them, she realized three where missing. They must have landed farther away. Turning, she slipped in some spilled ink and went down again. "When I find out who tripped me I'm going to make them wish they where never born…" she muttered as she siphoned the ink off her robes. "Need a hand?" Startled, Alyssa looked up into the grey eyes of Sirius Black. She hadn't even heard him coming. Without waiting for an answer, he grasped her hand and pulled her up.  
"I think you dropped these." Sirius said, handing her the three books she was missing. Alyssa accepted them, asking as she did, "Why are you helping me? I thought you would hate me after I, you know, broke your nose…" Sirius didn't answer right away. Alyssa was annoyed with the answer she did get. "I have my reasons. I mean, you can't help it if you're related to that greasy git."

Alyssa was immediately angered again. "Would you just leave Sev _alone_? Why are you so _mean_ to him?" A dark look crossed his face. "It's…complicated."  
"Well, if you're going to be mean to him, you can go away and leave me alone. I'm liable to throw another punch at you. And I need to get to potions class, I'm late enough as is."

Alyssa turned on her heel and briskly walked off. She could hear Sirius as he hurried to catch up with her. "Wait!" Alyssa stopped so fast that Sirius nearly slammed into her. "WHAT is it now, Sirius?" Sirius pointed down at the floor, and following his gaze Alyssa saw dark red stuff on the floor. Blood. Her blood. She must have hurt herself when she fell. "Are you sure you don't want to go to the hospital wing?" he asked. He actually looked…concerned. _What ever the real reason is that he's doing this for, I'm not buying it,_ she thought. _It's probably just something to get me to trust him, only to have him crush me._ "No Sirius, I'm fine," she said with some iciness dripping in her tone. "You can go now to whatever class you're trying to skip." She ran down the hall and to the potions class without waiting to see his reaction. By the time she got there, she was at least seven minutes late.

"Alyssa! There you are! I was afraid that my prize student had gotten sick without my knowing!" Professor Slughorn exclaimed, beaming at her. "Go ahead, sit down!" Alyssa sheepishly took a seat next to Abby, Slughorn not even taking points off her house for being late had caused more mutterings. Just another reason for people to hate her. "What are we doing?" Alyssa whispered to Abby. "We are going to be making a swelling solution." she whispered back.

"Stir the potion twice clockwise, add puffer fish eyes, then stir until a bright green." Slughorn was calling directions from the front of the room. Alyssa hurried to try and follow them. Stir once, then add the eyes…_BOOM_! The potion had exploded in her face, splashing several students around her. Girls shrieks could be heard as various people's body parts engorged…some people had club-like arms, some had bowling-ball sized noses or lips. Slughorn hastily tired to restore order and find out what had happened. "Everyone, everyone, listen! If you have been hit with the swelling solution, come to my desk so I may give you the antidote." Alyssa carefully looked down. She felt sure she would have been affected, she was sitting in front of the cauldron after all. But nothing seemed to be getting larger-until the she felt something really bad in her stomach and realized that she had swallowed some. She dashed up to Slughorn's desk, unsure what would happen if somebody swallowed the potion. _Am I going to explode? That's such a painful way to die!_

"Yes dear? You don't seem to have been hit with the potion, do you need anything else?"  
"Um, no sir…you see, I think I swallowed some, and I'm afraid I might…" Alyssa trailed off as she saw Slughorn's eyes widen with fear. Obviously swallowing a swelling solution was very, _very_ bad. Slughorn bustled back to his desk, searching for an antidote as quick as he could. Alyssa felt like her stomach was expanding, and panic gripped her. _I don't want to die now! I'm too young!_

"Here it is!" Slughorn shouted triumphantly. "Here you go dear, drink this up, and drink it all so we are sure that all the traces of the potion are gone. It's going to taste bitter, but surely that is preferable to exploding…" Alyssa grabbed the potion and drank it all in one gulp. She nearly spit it all out again, it tasted so foul. Slowly, the tightening feeling in her stomach slowly went away. "I think I'm better now, thank you Professor." she said, handing the now-empty bottle back to Slughorn. He gazed at her as if unsure that she was telling the truth. "You know, I think we should send you to Madam Pomfrey. Just in case, dear." Alyssa didn't want to go, she would miss the Halloween feast! "No Sir, I think I'm fine, really." Slughorn waved his hand and shook his head. "No no, I insist! Now go!" Sighing in defeat, Alyssa grabbed her things and stormed out the door.

"You know, I don't think I'm going to go to the hospital wing. I think that I would rather just go to the common room." she muttered to herself. Swiftly changing directions, she realized Sirius and his gang would probably be there. Well, so what! Maybe she could find out why he was _really_ being nice to her today. Looking down, she could see the bloody trail she had left earlier and winced. She reached under her ear, where she had been bleeding. It was dry now. Relieved, she hurried down, gave the password to the fat lady, (it was 'chicken mumps') and climbed inside.

"And then she just walked off! Can you believe that?" Alyssa stopped short, then hid in a chair by the window. Sirius had been talking, and he hadn't seemed to notice her arrival. "I mean, I was even trying to be nice to her, despite the fact she's related to that slimy little slug…" One boy, James if she remembered correctly, answered him. "I think that you just can't believe that a single member of the female race isn't attracted to you, Sirius. Must hurt." Sirius growled and swatted at him. "Shut up!" he shouted. The shabby looking boy spoke next. "Why are you really trying to be nice to her? I don't think its because you like her, she's only eleven." Alyssa listened even harder now. This was the answer she was waiting for! But once again, she was disappointed, because he just gave his friends the same answer he gave her. "I have my reasons. I feel a bit of sympathy, it must be hard being related to Snivellus." Alyssa stormed up the stairs, she had had enough. "I heard that, by the way." she called out behind her. She smirked, the whole group had jumped in surprise. Sirius looked like he really regretted saying something. Smiling a bit, Alyssa ran up the stairs to get ready for dinner.

Alyssa sat all alone at the Gryffindor bench. She had gotten bored and decided to go wait in the great hall for Abby. She had been sitting there for fifteen minutes and had almost decided to go back when she heard echoing footsteps. Looking up, she saw that red-haired girl from the first day. She looked slightly familiar, did she live in her neighborhood? Alyssa doubted it, because this girl didn't seem like the poor folk that lived on Spinners End. The girl spotted her and smiled, headed her way. She sat down and asked, "You're Alyssa, right? Sev's sister? Why are you down her so early?" Alyssa was startled that this girl knew her name. Then she remembered-this was Lily Evans, Sev had told her about her. She knew that Severus harbored a crush on Lily-not that he would ever admit it-so she felt slightly ashamed that she didn't recognize her right away. "Yeah, that's right. I got bored, and I didn't want to have to listen to that Potter kid bragging." Lily scowled at the mention of Potter. "That's why I came down…I got sick of watching him mess with that Snitch. I don't know what most of the girls see in him, you should see what they write in their notebooks." Alyssa giggled, she could just imagine girls doodling their names and Potter's together. The Great Hall started filling up, it was time for the rest of the school to come to the feast. The hall was magnificent, with huge, ten-ton pumpkins that had giant candles, and bats that flew around, making said candles flicker. After the hall had filled up, (Abby sitting next to Alyssa) the dish's filled up with all sorts of delicious smelling food: Turkeys, roast beef, all kinds of pumpkins; including pie, and bunches and bunches of candy! Alyssa smiled and dug in ravenously.

Full, content, and a bit sleeply, Alyssa followed the rest of the Gryffindors to the fat lady. "Chicken mumps!" someone called out, and she swung forward to admit them. Sleepily saying goodnight, Alyssa decided that today was definiently one of the better days in the last month, even if she swallowed a bad potion. With these thoughts soon leaving her head, she was asleep before her head hit the pillow.

**Phew! That was looong! :D I hoped you really liked it! I don't think the ending was that great...anyways, tell me what you think! Review it, and if you have ideas I would LOVE to hear them! Thank you! (Oh and tell me if you found mistakes so I can fix them!)**


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